I’ve been thinking about what an impact environment has on us. We do our best when we have a calm space to call our own. I spent time in my sunroom this morning watching a very busy mama bird carefully cultivated her nest after winter had had its affect on it. I watched as she went into the nest and one by one picked out pieces of plastic and artificial items from the weathered nest. With determination, she pulled and plucked, individually dropping pieces of plastic and unwanted debris from the nest. She was creating a calm space and home for her upcoming babies.
As I watched this diligent mother be so detailed and intentional about her future home, it made me reflect on my own experience.
As parents, we set up the environment for our children as intentionally and thoughtfully as we can in anticipation and preparing for what our children and family need.
When I was pregnant with my first (early 2000s), I was so excited to design a nursery with meticulously matched bedding, decorations, furniture and gadgets. I visited the stores that featured nursery set ups targeted to new parents. The marketing worked, and I fell hook line and sinker into wanting to curate the most perfectly decorated (Pinterest perfect-before Pinterest was a thing) room. The room turned out adorable and certainly served its purpose, but many of the furnishings were overrated or unused.
When I was pregnant with my second 8 years later, I prepared by setting up the environment differently. I curated and intentionally thought about what furniture would be the most relaxing and comfortable. I didn’t worry as much about having all the matching fabric pieces and miscellaneous items the stores marketed to young parents. I didn’t over decorate this time, and instead was more thoughtful and purposeful about what we needed in the room. Like the mama bird, I carefully selected what items could stay, and what no longer belonged in the nest. I was creating a calm space for our newest addition.
There’s a peace and comfort with having a second child because not everything is completely new. Not all experiences are the same certainly, but I had some previous knowledge to at least lean on this time around. As my second grew up, I noticed sensitivity to sensory information (primarily sights, sounds, and others’ emotions). Having years of experience as a Speech Pathologist and ASD Specialist, I had the background to understand sensory processing. I applied what I had learned working with my students to help me intentionally cultivate the right environment for my daughter. I noticed which sights, sounds, and people in the environment were soothing and calming, and which brought her distress. I observed her reactions to the world which were magnified by others’ unexpected reactions, visually overwhelming rooms, time using electronics, and others’ emotions.
I altered our home and schedule to be calmer and more soothing. We increased time in nature and decreased time with electronics. We shifted from a public school with visually stimulating walls, focus on technology, high energy, and busy schedules (albeit truly amazing staff and school with many opportunities), to a private Waldorf school that had a calmer sensory environment with a focus on nature, music, and art.
It was during this process that I realized
my daughter’s sensitivity was a gift.
And I wanted to do everything I
could to support her.
She was an empath, a highly sensitive person, felt others’ emotions as if they were her own, and had a heart as big as the world for anyone she came in contact with. She needed her environment to support her so that she could be the best version of herself.
Along this journey, I noticed in myself a shift. Limiting electronics (still present, but more structured use and less time with them), slowing down our schedule, becoming intentional about our meal choices (reducing/eliminating gluten and dairy), and purposefully planning timing with others, left me feeling more grounded and comfortable. I had always known I sensed the world more deeply, but now I had the words to explain it. We were both empaths, gifted sensitive beings here to make a difference.
As a parent you know your child best (and here are some free PDFs to help).
Don’t be afraid to change up your environment to support your child’s needs and emotions. Simple changes like the textures of clothing you buy, your routines, the amount of items or noise in a given room, or even big changes like moving schools. It’s (much) easier said than done, but trust yourself and read your child to notice what is calming and distressing. Here are some free resources to help! Begin by observing and tracking behaviors to learn more about patterns in behavior. Take a look through these sensory items at home to see what items in the environment are pleasing/displeasing.
Serious about making a difference for your child?
Check out the course: Why Does My Child Act That Way: Understanding Environment and Behavior on sale now.
The course will walk you through understanding how your child may be interpreting common environments through a sensory perspective. Free PDFs and clearly presented information intended for parents.
Learn about how to create a calm space for your child personalized to your child’s interests in colors, texture, and personality. I’ll walk you through it and make it simple (and cost effective).
Ask me how!
Sign up for a free connection call at stacytriplat.com. I’ll give you practical options, a plan, and a discount code for a personalized journey that we can complete together.